Joyful Dependence

I have learned something in the past couple of weeks… it gives me a lot of joy…. It’s like a whole new life. I have been so behind, so un-informed for my whole life, my whole Christian walk… in fact this has me thinking that I hadn’t even started my Christian walk, or in better words: my walk with the Father

When Jesus freed me from the penalty of sin- he opened the door to my prison cell. I was free, but I didn’t leave. Or at least, whenever I left- I always came back to it at meal times. I didn’t rely on God, I relied on myself and my own efforts- I would work out my own spiritual growth… I would judge the things that needed to change, and then I would ask him to change them…. make me not lie, make me not…. Etc. My first 3 months after camp I spent working…. To raise the money I would need- why didn't I just pray, and let him provide- because that was the point I came to at the end….

Jesus gave 100% of his life on that cross…. I gave him 20% of my life in return. I still relied on myself.

Jeremiah 17:5-9

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁵ Thus says the Lord:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
    and makes flesh his strength,^[a]
    whose heart turns away from the Lord.
⁶ He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salt land.

⁷ “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
⁸ He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things,
    and desperately sick;
    who can understand it?

The new life I’m finding is not compatible with this world… the new life I’m finding is this: become a child… leave the prison cell, and trust in God for my every need. So with the orphan home construction- I’m done asking for support, I’m done checking my email to see that we haven’t gotten the money we need…. And more than that- much more than that, I’m done making it my burden. God is at the controls… he isn't worried or burdened by this; it’s his choice that we aren't building. And it’s part of his perfect plan. It isn't right for me to ask the question why… when Joseph was in the Egyptian prison for 10-13 years, I’m sure he had no idea why…. But through it God was glorified.

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Isaiah 64:8 

Please pray that I could be like a child…