Here’s my update; life sucks.
It’s so easy to get all caught up in the downs of life, the
distractions- financial and emotional; when they all crowd in and nudge and
yell and scream and hit for your attention- all in the hopes of taking your eyes
off of our heavenly Father. But God is sovereign, he’s in COMPLETE control. So
if God is in complete control, and he is intentionally driving the vehicle, which is your life, on the rumble strip, you have to ask why? We see in the book of Job, admittedly his
situation was a tad (sarcasm) worse than ours at the Johnson home right now, but Job brought glory to God. Though his earthly life was falling to pieces
around him, he did not curse God. To be horribly candid, I am guilty of this.
My family has been facing ‘exile’ ( Jer 29) for the last 17
months, berated with trials and hardships, all the while seeking clarity for
what God has next for their ministry. I
don’t want to dwell on the bad, but I will tell you about some of the good that
has come out of this. Firstly, God started a home church through a group of
people that my dad is shepherding: this church is a
living organism, where questions are blurted out, candid pains are said aloud,
and support is abundant. God has also done a great work in both of my parents and the change is so evident. It seems to me like he’s broken them, showed them
that they really can’t rely on anything- except Him. This has turned them into
more humble and faithful people- with their eyes set firmly on the Lord.
I really didn’t think I’d send out an email/blog post asking
for prayer support before I reached India. But here it is, please pray for us.
This morning I woke up thinking life could not possibly get any worse. I was
proved wrong before noon. But I should be used to this by now… the same thing
happened Friday morning. I miss last
week, where my worries were that I would not be seeing my wonderful girlfriend,
Hayley, for 6 months, coupled with the ongoing pressure of our household being
out of work. Now I have a car accident and a costly work scheduling error under
my belt as well… to be honest my original plan was to have left for India by
the start of December, and then the start of January, now it’s looking like end
of January; I’m so discouraged by the constant changes; I just want to get out
of here. At the same time, I’m now considering not going to India and staying
home to work for the family instead.
I’m asking for two things: firstly for prayer, and secondly
for 5 minutes of your time, to marvel at our great, holy and perfect God. His
plan is perfect, and though I fail to see most of it right now- I know it is
happening, and it’s happening to us, at the Johnson home. God has taken our
life, thrown us in a blender and messed it all up. C.S. Lewis has a great
illustration in "Mere Christianity"; we are a house, when we become Christians we
invite Jesus into this house. He makes the changes that we expected to see, we
stop lying, stealing… etc., but then he
starts making changes that are painful and new. He adds a tower here, a new
wing here. In reality- he’s changing us
into something completely different; a beautiful mansion, something that works
to display the glory of our Great God. At the beginning of this day, I was lying
on my bedroom floor asking God why he wouldn't just take me home. And at the
beginning of this blog post I wasn't in the greatest state of mind either… but
hey, I said I was going to be candid- I’m a mess, a house in a blender- but God
is in control of all this. Please pray that me and my family would keep our
eyes on the Lord. Pray that we are not caught up and distracted by the little
stupid things, but that we keep focusing on Him.
Praying James for you and for your family. Thanks for your honesty in this blog post.
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