Something thats been on my mind...

God has shown me so much of his beauty since I have come to India.... the faith is so beautiful here... and I am learning to rely more and more on him. Now throughout my life, God has blessed me with a great hunger for him- at the same time, the flesh that i live in is, of course, a slave to sin- I am the worst person I know. As the bible talks about the "dog returning to his vomit" thats me, so many times- My life may serve as a testament to his great mercy... but of course, all of ours do. On sunday, after preaching my sermon I was proud- and I realized, how narcissistic and prideful I am. It has been made clear to me, that any sermon I write without prayerful dependence on God, will be garbage. While writing the sermon i preached on Sunday, i had spent more time praying than writing, and God blessed me with a good message, and yet I was still proud... Now it was revealed to me that humility and dependence on God go hand in hand. as humility teaches me to be less, I fill the void with my merciful father.... dependence on him...
I must be careful not to "try to be humble" as any attempt of mine will fail.... but the head changes the heart, and so I believe that I must study more about man... who we are, why we are, what we are (dust), when we are (fleeting), where we are.... and How we are (God's mercy) I hope to have time to study my bible for these answers in great detail tomorrow- and I will post what I find, after that I must, of course, pray for change- as any human effort will fail